Back to the doldrums

The fires are pretty much out now, and the world is falling back into its normal rhythms. Caleb and I returned home from Fresno yesterday evening and life is once again predictable. I have always wished I was a super spontaneous, spur of the moment, kind of person. You know, the kind who decide to get up and drive to the mountains and do not worry about what will happen when they get there. Me, I would first have to know who is going, how long are we going to stay, what time will we drive back, and most importantly, what will we eat? I have never once jumped in my car and just drove. I feel pretty reckless when I change lanes on the freeway without slowing down or using my blinker. That is just who I am. I have always been a "follow the rules" person. One of my saddest memories was created because I followed the rules. The day I graduated all the seniors gathered in the auditorium about an hour before the ceremony. there we were repeatedly told not to wave at the audience. Just walk straight down the path and do not cause a scene. the rule was ment to keep the flow of students going. when it was time to walk we were paired off. I chose to walk with my good friend Katie Mcllulin. She is known for being my opposite. Loud and full of energy, Katie has never known what rules were. The music begins playing and we are signaled to begin walking. Right as we got about half way down the field to my horror Katie begins waving her arms and shouting back to the cheering crown. I, afraid to break the rule, continued to walk forward with my eyes looking straight forward. At the end of the ceremony when my family came to meet me on the Field with warm hugs and words of congratulations, my Mother asked me why I did not look at them. She said they were cheering for me and waving their arms trying to get my attention. I felt so bad. Because of a stupid rule I missed my cheering section. I will never forget that feeling.

So after that day I decided to break every rule ever given to me! Kidding, but I did decide that I would never again follow a rule mindlessly. LOL so on the upbeat,