Lately I have been thinking a lot about life. Especially the years that have gone by in the time that Caleb and I have been together.
Caleb and I will have been together for eight years next June. We started dating when I was only 20 years old. We were married by the time I was 21. I am currently 28 and expecting our second child. Eight years really is not too long, but it seems that in the years we have be together we have gone through a lot of "Life" together. We have been as rich as kings, only to be dirt poor and living off credit cards for three months the next year. We have moved about five times and been "this close" to buying a house (so we thought) twice. We know what it's like to be on top of the world in love. And we know what it's like to sit silently next to each with heavy hearts wondering if our marriage is strong enough to hold up against the latest challenge.
(I know I am being a little transparent, but it's my blog and that's just the mood I've been in.)
I am grateful to have a husband like Caleb. Granted we both had no clue what we were getting ourselves into when we got married, but who does. I am just glad that even through our roughest patches we have always at the very least been friends. There were times when I felt like all I was was a friend, but because of our friendship we were able to talk about whatever issues were going on and fix the problems. My friendship with Caleb is very special to me. It is because of him that I even made it through this year without a complete meltdown. He has kept me sane as in the course of a year I became a new mother and watched helplessly as my dad died of a horrible illness.
My poor Dad. I sure miss him. There has not been one day that has gone by that I have not relived his funeral from start to finish. Not sure if that is healthy or not, but I really can't help it. I creeps up on me right before I fall asleep. Sometimes I cry, but I don't expect that to ever go away. It is hard to relate that deep feeling of loss to someone who has never gone through the same thing and from what I understand the hurt never truly heals you just learn to deal with it better. (does any of this make sense?) Anyway Wyatt is screaming so I must attend to him.