Wednesday, July 27, 2011

This could take a while.

It's almost 10:30pm, Wyatt is with Justine, Zane and Caleb are asleep, and I am sitting on the couch munching on cold McDonalds. Don't judge me, I have lost almost about 20 pounds since I had Zane, so this must not be too bad. Anyway, in the past few days, I have had a lot on my mind. A Lot. The inGroup spa party seems to be going ok. It was all planned at the last minute, so that is totally driving me crazy (I like to be super prepared). I am going to be in a wedding in Aug, and I still need to find material for my dress. There is a baby shower I need to organize for Sept. Just lots of stuff that requires a lot of time to get done right. But there is something else that makes all this seem so small, and that is guilt. Mother's Guilt. I know all mother's have felt it/feel it at some point. I looked it up on the Internet just to make sure I wasn't going crazy, and you would be surprised at the amount of sites dedicated to guilt. Today, it is weighing heavy on my heart.I feel like I am letting Wyatt down. He is my first born (my mom always said, "you love all your kids, but your first is different"). I have such a deep love for him. We have been through a lot together. Every first I have ever experienced in parenting has been with him (obvious, but so true). There is a special bond between us, and yet I feel like I don't treat him like he deserves. I look at him and I feel guilty. I am always trying to balance my time and energy between my boys and my husband, but so many times I fall short of who I want to be to each one. I want to be an awesome mom with the patience of Gandhi to my boys. I want to be a super cleaning/dinner making/ hott wife to my husband (yes I said hott, who doesn't want their husband to think they are a hottie). But so far all I am is an over stretched (physically & emotionally lol) crazy lady that would love to sleep for 8 hours in a row and take a long nap in the middle of the day. So, what to do? I have talked to Caleb and he assures me I am not horrible, but I am weird. He says I am a great mom. Unfortunately his words are not enough. I need to solve this problem as best I can. I want to enjoy my children w/o guilt, so I looked over a few of the websites I found and came upon this list of ways to overcome how I feel. It seems doable. What do you think?

  • Pinpoint exactly what you feel guilty about. Your guilt may be telling you that there is something you need to change in your life.

  • Look closely at your priorities. Make a list of what is essential for the health and happiness of your family. What is important to your family may not matter to other families and vice versa. Be secure with your priorities.

  • Make more time for your family. Even though you are a mother, you can't do everything, so if it is not on your priority list then get in the habit of saying "No."

  • Live in the present. The mistakes you have made are over and done with. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, learn from them and leave them in the past.

  • Set limits for your children. As a parent you are responsible for the well being of your children, as well as helping them to develop their personal character. Teaching them to respect the boundaries you have set is an important lesson, and is one that you should never feel guilty about enforcing.

  • Take time for yourself. Even though it may seem impossible to find the time, if you are drained emotionally or physically then you have nothing to give your children. Plus, you should take time for yourself solely for the fact that you are worth it.

  • The last one is something I really need to work on. Gotta get out of the house and let loose once in a while.


    Sarboo said...

    As you sit in peace and quiet, so do I. It seems the only time I get some me time is late at night. Unfortunately, I then feel tired the next day. What to do? A couple of mothers and I were just talking about the mothers guilt. We each had different things we felt guilty over and some the same, but we each felt it. My mother in law said she lived in a constant state of guilt while raising the boys. Don't know how this helps, except to let you know you are not alone. I think us mothers should be a little more real with each other once in a while. It helps me when I know I am not crazy, but really quite normal, as others are going through the same things. Ok. I think that's enough. Maybe I should start a blog. (J/K) Sarah

    Three's Company said...

    Lol. I was thinking tonight you should blog all your crafty adventures. :) Thanks.