Today is such an emotional day

Psalm 118:17

17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.

I remember a time when I had only a thread of hope, when I had to talk myself into believing things would work out. I made myself repeat what I knew were the right thoughts, until the idea went from my head to my heart and I truly believed what I was saying. In that time of my life, this verse kept me going. It was my mantra, repeated daily, and written down on several surfaces. I shall not die, but live. Today, I am not only alive, but thriving. 

 During the time I was trying to conceive, I prayed for God to take the desire for a child from me. To release me from the pain of unanswered prayers, and (as silly as it soumds now) send me off be a missionary. We had nothing tying us down. Surely a young missionary couple could do more for God than a grieving woman. I would have slept with bugs on a dirt floor, than continue to hope and (in my mind) fail. 

When things don't work out like we planned or we feel like we have failed at life, it takes a toll on our spirit. In those times we need to look to the word of God for encouragement. Psalm 118:17 is so simple. I will live, and not die. I will make it, I will overcome and because I am alive, I will declare the works of the Lord. 

Today is Wyatt's 5th birthday,(and I know it seems like I always "go here", but it's because I don't ever want to forget what God did for me), and I am so grateful for the miracle that God gave us. I will never be able to fully express the beauty of God's timing in Wyatt's birth. He was what we needed, when we needed it. I sit here with tears in my eyes, overwhelmed by the amazing God we serve. In years to come, when my children read these words I want them to feel what I feel right now. To know that God is good and no matter the circumstance you can live and not die, and in living you will declare that the Lord is great. 

Happy Birthday to you Wyatt Dillon. You are loved more than you will ever know.