Thursday, September 25, 2014

Today is such an emotional day

Psalm 118:17

17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.
I remember a time when I had only a thread of hope, when I had to talk myself into believing things would work out. I made myself repeat what I knew were the right thoughts, until the idea went from my head to my heart and I truly believed what I was saying. In that time of my life, this verse kept me going. It was my mantra, repeated daily, and written down on several surfaces. I shall not die, but live. Today, I am not only alive, but thriving. 
 During the time I was trying to conceive, I prayed for God to take the desire for a child from me. To release me from the pain of unanswered prayers, and (as silly as it soumds now) send me off be a missionary. We had nothing tying us down. Surely a young missionary couple could do more for God than a grieving woman. I would have slept with bugs on a dirt floor, than continue to hope and (in my mind) fail. 
When things don't work out like we planned or we feel like we have failed at life, it takes a toll on our spirit. In those times we need to look to the word of God for encouragement. Psalm 118:17 is so simple. I will live, and not die. I will make it, I will overcome and because I am alive, I will declare the works of the Lord. 
Today is Wyatt's 5th birthday,(and I know it seems like I always "go here", but it's because I don't ever want to forget what God did for me), and I am so grateful for the miracle that God gave us. I will never be able to fully express the beauty of God's timing in Wyatt's birth. He was what we needed, when we needed it. I sit here with tears in my eyes, overwhelmed by the amazing God we serve. In years to come, when my children read these words I want them to feel what I feel right now. To know that God is good and no matter the circumstance you can live and not die, and in living you will declare that the Lord is great. 
Happy Birthday to you Wyatt Dillon. You are loved more than you will ever know. 

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Kindergarten bound

camping 2014 

Meeting selfies with Daddy

Ready to leave the nest :)  
Of course Justine met him at school and brought him a special cookie :)

I could not resist leaving a drawing of us on his desk while he was at an assembly . 

BTW, his teacher knew enough to sit him right next to her desk lol 

Best out of five photos taken. 

  It finally happened. Wyatt started school today. This morning he came bursting out of his room (at 6:30am) and asked if it was time for him to get ready for school. The entire time we were getting ready he kept pushing us along because he didn't want to be late. :) On the way to school, Wyatt asked Zane if he was going to miss him, to which Zane yelled, "Don't talk to me!". Zane is a little jealous that Wyatt is starting a new adventure without him. I'm sure his jealousy will end when Zane realizes he will get a lot more attention, now that it is just him and Kristin at home. 
  As of this moment I am curious about what Wyatt is doing. I wish I could sit in class and watch him learn. I want to see how he interacts with other kids. I wonder if he will eat all his lunch. Should I have sent something that is kinda hard to open?  
  While I have a lot of momish wants, there is one thing that I am not...I am not worried. When the understanding that I am not even a tiny bit worried about my son struck me, I realized it is because Wyatt is with people I trust, in a place I know is safe. I'm not worried about how kids might treat him. I'm not worried that his teacher will be unsympathetic to his needs. I am not worried about what Wyatt is being taught. I know that Wyatt is safe. Will he have hardships? Yes. Will someone pick on him? Eventually. But in the end Wyatt will be taken care of, and thankfully will have the privilege of learning in a truly christian environment. I can't express how much that means to me. As a mom who was born to worry, I am thankful to God for helping us make the decision to send Wyatt to LCA and then providing us with the means to send him there. 

Monday, September 1, 2014

Body update.

I have a month y'all!
Ok. So because I am working with my body and trying to be the best me I can, I am going to be blogging more about PCOS. Why? because it's a big deal. At least to me. 
I found that the few supplements I have started taking are helping with my hair loss. As an apostolic we are often identified by our hair. Everyone wants or has long flowing beautiful hair that would make Rapunzel weep with envy  :) 
 So when your hair starts to fall out in chunks at the age of 31, and the majority of it is only coming to the top of your shoulder, well, it can be distressing. I honestly could not wear my hair down because if I curled it, very few pieces went past my shoulder and I was so worried someone might think I was cutting it. 
So, I'm happy to report that my hair has stopped falling out and has grown about 1/2". I don't think it will ever grow down to my knees or anything like that, but that fact that I can comb it in more than one style is a win.  

In other body news. I am starting a new diet regime (diet as in food intake, not diet as in diet). I am going to challenge myself to substitute a few meals with a protein shake to see how that effects my insulin resistance as well as weight loss. I have been very strict with my carbohydrate intake for about six weeks and have not really seen a change in my weight. 
Cutting out carbs has made me feel A LOT better. I am not as tired. My mind does not feel as foggy. I do get grouchy when I am hungry, but who doesn't? I hope that adding protein shakes to my diet as well as a new supplement will do a lot of good for my physical health. 
I contacted my biological mother and asked her about my family health history. I found out that two grandmothers died of cancer (she didn't know which kind), one grandmother died of complications due to diabetes, my biological mother has high blood pressure and some type of heart disease. 
PCOS puts me at greater risk for heart disease and my family health history isn't too encouraging, so with all this in mind I will continue to strive for a more health body. 

PCOS facts

Thursday, August 28, 2014

New pics :)

We went to the park and had a home made photo shoot. Poor Kristin is lacking in the professional photo department, but I guess that just life as the third child :) Some of these pics need re-editing, but I have been playing with a new editor for about two hours and I am totally burnt out on color, exposure, whatever. All the pics are starting to look the same. As always, you can click to enlarge the pics. 

Senior Portraits 


She was made most of the time we were taking photos.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Change of scenery

So, what's new? A lot and nothing. I have started taking a few supplements to help with my PCOS. So far I am taking three. Flax seed oil, Fish oil, and vitamins. I am in the process of  trying to get a hold of another supplement called myo-Inositol. I can find it online, but I really don't want to pay for shipping. So, I am trying to find it in-store. I do feel benefits form the supplements I have started. I have managed to loose three pounds this last week without trying too hard. That is a big accomplishment for me. I recently did a no carb, no sugar week and I still weighed the same by the end of the week. So three pounds is amazing. I hope that my hair has stopped falling out as much as it was, but it is way too soon to tell. So, cheers to prayer and lifestyle changes :)

Wyatt is one month away from starting school. I am almost done school shopping for him. It is going to be so weird to send him off for a whole day. I know I'm going to cry. :) 

In other random news, we have a tadpole. My brother has a coy pond and while we were visiting one evening he decided to give the boys a tadpole. I tried my best to convince him that I was just going to kill it, but he laughed at me and gave my boys a tadpole. So now I have yet another responsibility, I am raising three children, three fish (they came with the tadpole), one dog and one frog-let. Because life was not complicated enough. 

Leroy thinks he's people

Our friend Bobby O'Howell and his pet tarantula 

Both of the boys held it!

Our newest pet. Craig Todd the tadpole. 

Betty Grandma and a few of her grandbabies

She seriously helped me make a flower, it was so cute. 

Monday, June 23, 2014

PCOS - It's a syndrome, and I have it.

This is a super personal blog, but it is one that I need to write. I have PCOS. I found out when I went to a fertility specialist because I was having trouble conceiving. The diagnoses rocked my world. I dropped out of college because I was so upset I could not function (I later re-enrolled and graduated with honors). I battled depression and bitterness. Once I did more research I found out that women respond to infertility the same way people respond to the news that they have a cancer. We grieve for our future.
It's been about 8 years and God has given me three little miracles. I still fight with physical symptoms of PCOS. I am currently trying to lose weight, but even that does not happen normally. I can exercise everyday and actually gain weight. It's just part of the package. So I have to try and find the right balance of exercise and diet. I try my best to eat a low GI diet and I just started a workout program.

I guess I just needed to throw this out there because I am tired of pretending I don't have PCOS. I ignore the symptoms and get frustrated that I'm not 100% healthy.

Now, to be clear, this won't kill me, but it does weigh on my mind at times. I mean, what woman wants to fight a beard, or lose their hair, or gain weight for no apparent reason? It puts me at risk for heart disease, diabetes, and ovarian cancer. But it is supposed to be manageable through medicine, diet and exercise.

So here it is guys. My secret. I'm not perfect. In fact I'm very flawed,  but with God's help I'm looking forward to making the next 30 years of my life the best 30 years of my life. :)

Thursday, May 22, 2014

For the Record

Kristin Jolene: my pearl of great price.
Kristin refuses to say mama! I tell her to say mama, and she grins at me and says, "dada!". She can say cracker, hot, thank you, ouch...she even says kikin (kristin) from time to time, but she will not will not say mama. It's beginning to come between us. :) 
Wyatt is officially enrolling in LCA. It was a hard decision to make for a variety of reasons, but in the end we feel like this is the best choice for him. Now to pray the Lord makes us millionaires. :) So, with that being said, my baby is starting kindergarten! He actually does not like me to a call him baby anymore. But as the creepy old lady in the weirdest child's book ever said, "As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be".  
**Seriously guys, have you ever stopped to really thing about that book? She drives across town in the middle of the night, climbs through her grown, probably married (seeing as he has a child himself) son's window and rocks him. *creepy*
Zane. Zane is my not so subtle child. Yesterday, he woke up, dressed himself and told me I needed to take him to the store to buy juice. We had not had juice for about three days and he was tired of drinking water. So I woke Caleb up and sent them both to the store lol. 

We are having quite the time here in the Dillon household. Caleb was laid off of work in January. God has been so good to us in so many ways. It's like we have a had a spiritual growth spurt. When our money has gotten low, God has provided us with more.
 Zane desperately needed about $2000, two thousand, worth of dental work done. When Caleb lost his job he lost his insurance also, but God worked it out and Zane received ALL his treatment and then some for FREE. I saved the bill and if I ever ever begin to question God I look at it and remember, God will provide. 
We were also in need of a new car. Our van was totaled when Caleb, wait for it.....sneezed while driving and rear ended a truck. He wasn't hurt, so it's a pretty funny story, but not as funny when you don't have a job and very limited funds. God once again stepped in a provided us with a "new to us" car. We were able to pay cash for it and even came in under budget. 
One little thing that God did for me is so small and personal that has really shown me that God knows where we are at and cares about every aspect of our lives. 
I was in need of some new boots. Like seriously in need. I don't have very many shoes and I wear them till they cry uncle and then a few more times after that. So my current boots were falling apart, and I didn't have anything shoes to wear while it was cold. One afternoon, I was browsing at target and I saw that they had some riding boots in the clearance section. Knowing our budget was tight I didn't get my hopes to high, but I stopped and looked. The first thing I noticed was that they were my size. I wear a 5 1/2-6 so it's not too often I find my size of shoe in clearance, or ever. I looked at the price of one pair and they were still $35, I figured the other style would be the same price. My heart dropped a little and I started to walk away, but something in me said, "maybe God wants to bless me today". I looked for a tag on the second style and it didn't have one. I made the choice to take a chance and took the boots up for a price check. Would you believe that they were only $15! Reg price $75. I about snatched them back from the clerk just in case she changed her mind. lol
Every time I wear my little $15 boots I am reminded that God knows where I'm at and will not only provide for my needs, but will also throw in a few extras just to make sure I know he's there.